When facing an accusation of sexual assault in the military, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions—anger, confusion, even the impulse to confront your accuser. I get it, but one of the most critical steps in protecting yourself, legally, is to avoid all contact with them entirely.
This might feel counterintuitive, especially if the relationship was once friendly or romantic. But the stakes of a military investigation are high, and even a seemingly harmless interaction could have serious consequences.
Imagine the situation:
Someone you once trusted or even cared for has now accused you of a felony. That person has become a key player in an investigation that could define your future. The impulse to explain yourself or “set the record straight” may feel strong. But in military justice, interactions with an accuser can easily be misconstrued as intimidation, stalking, or even attempts to influence testimony.
Every conversation, every text, and every encounter can be turned into evidence—evidence that’s not in your favor.
In many cases, I’ve seen service members inadvertently strengthen the case against them by simply trying to communicate. A single interaction, however innocent, could lead to accusations of harassment or attempts to obstruct justice. Military prosecutors know how to take even minor actions and weave them into a narrative of guilt. This is why avoiding all contact isn’t just recommended; it’s absolutely essential.
Avoiding contact with your accuser also protects you from misunderstandings and potential set-ups.
In some unfortunate cases, accusers may claim that the accused has been following them, showing up unexpectedly, or creating uncomfortable situations. You may think, “I would never do that,” but even coincidental encounters can work against you. Never underestimate how you might be prosecuted.
If you happen to run into your accuser on base or anywhere else, document the situation immediately. Notify your chain of command and your attorney so that the event is recorded as an innocent occurrence—not something that can be used against you.
If your accuser is someone you regularly see at work, this situation becomes even more complex. You may share a workspace, or your paths may cross as part of your daily duties. This is challenging, but it’s vital that you act professionally at all times and report each encounter to your superiors.
Don’t let a brief sighting or even a shared task devolve into something that could look like targeted behavior. Your chain of command can help create boundaries to minimize interactions, protecting you from accusations of intentional contact.
Preserving your reputation and safeguarding your defense strategy isn’t just about physical distance. If you still have your accuser connected on social media, it’s time to sever that connection. Any lingering online ties can lead to allegations of virtual stalking or monitoring, and in a military investigation, digital footprints are scrutinized with a magnifying glass. Don’t risk an innocent like, comment, or shared connection turning into another complication in your defense.
Many service members fear that distancing themselves from the accuser will make them look guilty. But in truth, it’s the smartest legal strategy. Removing yourself from the equation as much as possible shows that you respect the process and are not trying to influence the case. In a court of law, this goes a long way in demonstrating your integrity and respect for military justice. And remember, keeping your distance isn’t about appearing aloof or cold—it’s about minimizing the risk of further complications in your case.
It’s painful to think of someone you once trusted as an adversary, but the reality is that an accuser in a sexual assault case is just that. Treat them as a legal opponent, not a former friend or partner. This mental shift may feel challenging, but it’s really important. The less interaction you have with them, the stronger your defense will be, both in perception and in reality. In these cases, the truth can be overshadowed by emotion, and your job is to stay grounded and focused on the bigger picture—your freedom and your future.
In the end, the act of avoidance is one of the most powerful defenses you have at this early stage. Staying out of any situation that could lead to an accusation of harassment or stalking is essential. By removing yourself from the orbit of your accuser, you’re helping protect the integrity of your defense. And this is what will matter when it’s time to have your day in court.
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