What to Do When Falsely Accused of Sexual Assault in the Military

In the military, facing a false accusation of sexual assault isn’t just devastating—it’s a complex legal situation that can change the course of your life. It’s easy to think that explaining yourself to your accuser, to your friends, or even to social media will help set things straight. But in reality, that approach can make things exponentially worse.

As a defense attorney who has helped countless service members navigate these situations, I’ve seen too many well-meaning people make one critical mistake: they kept talking. Here’s what you need to know about handling a false accusation of sexual assault in the military and the steps you should take to protect yourself from further risk.

Step 1: Stop All Communication with the Accuser

The moment you know you’re being accused, cut all communication with the individual making the accusation.

This is not the time to try and clear things up or “get on the same page.” The relationship you had with them—whether it was a friendship, a romantic connection, or anything else—has fundamentally changed. They are no longer your friend, no longer someone you can talk to casually. They are now a legal adversary, and every word, every text, and every DM could be and twisted and used against you.

If you continue talking to the accuser, even with the best intentions, you are essentially giving them evidence. You’re providing details that may come back to bite you in court or in military hearings.

I cannot stress this enough: stop talking to them. This isn’t personal; it’s legal strategy.

Step 2: Preserve All Digital Communication

Once you’ve halted all future communication, it’s time to secure and preserve everything from the past. Every message, every photo, and every social media interaction you’ve had with this individual could be crucial in proving your side of the story. This doesn’t mean deleting messages or “cleaning up” your digital history—doing so could look like you’re hiding evidence, and it may even result in accusations of tampering. Instead, securely back up all relevant information.

Your phone is now an essential tool in your defense, holding evidence that could make or break your case. Preserve your digital history with apps like iMessage, WhatsApp, Signal, and regular text messages. Take screenshots, save data to secure storage, and keep your phone in a safe place. This information should only be shared with your attorney, who can guide you on the right way to use this data to support your defense.

Step 3: Avoid Social Media and Public Statements

When accused of sexual assault, there might be a temptation to defend yourself publicly.
You may feel compelled to post on social media about your innocence or the unfairness of the accusation.

Don’t.
This is one of the worst things you can do in this situation. I’ve seen well-meaning individuals go on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or other platforms to “vent” or defend their name, only for those posts to end up as prosecution evidence. Prosecutors love public statements—they become open invitations to misinterpret your words in ways that make you look guilty.

Posting on social media is not the way to handle a false accusation. If anything, it puts you in a position where you’re handing over evidence to the opposing side. The moment you post about the situation, you’ve given others an invitation to scrutinize your words and use them against you. So, as difficult as it may be, resist the urge to post, tweet, or create and distribute any content around the accusation.

Do. Not. Do. It.

Step 4: Speak Only to Your Attorney

When falsely accused of a crime, it’s natural to want to talk to friends, family, or trusted colleagues. However, this can quickly complicate things. Every word you say can be misinterpreted, and even those who are close to you can become unreliable witnesses if their version of your conversation changes over time.

At this point, the only person you should be talking to is your attorney. An attorney knows how to protect your interests, keeping your defense airtight and confidential. Whether you have a military attorney or a civilian defense attorney, they are your single point of contact. Not your friends, not your family, and certainly not social media. An experienced attorney will understand how to use evidence in a way that serves your best interests and won’t unintentionally incriminate you.

Step 5: Protect Yourself, Legally and Mentally

I know this situation is overwhelming and isolating. When someone you trusted turns against you with an accusation, the emotional toll is heavy. But you need to keep your focus and not let your emotions drive your decisions. Every word you say, every message you send, and every move you make is now under scrutiny. The wrong step could lead to consequences far more severe than you might imagine.

This isn’t about hiding or running away from the issue; it’s about protecting yourself in a legal landscape that can be unforgiving to those who don’t tread carefully. You are innocent until proven guilty, and these steps will help you keep it that way.

By staying calm, composed, and silent (except with your attorney), you’re ensuring that your defense is as strong as it can be.

Final Thoughts

The steps outlined above are meant to protect you from the fallout of a false accusation.

By halting communication, preserving evidence, and seeking professional legal guidance, you’re taking the high road—the strategic road.

As your attorney, my role is to ensure that you’re fully protected and that your defense is built on a solid foundation. The truth may be on your side, but in a legal battle, truth alone isn’t always enough. It’s about strategy, preparation, and knowing when to speak—and when to stay silent.

If you’re facing a false accusation, remember that the steps you take now could determine your future. Make the right ones, and let a qualified attorney guide you every step of the way.